Body after baby or in my case babies! Lets just say its different. I only gained 32 pounds with my pregnancy and until week 31 I didn't have a single stretch mark!! I was sure that I wasn't going to get any since I had made it that far without any. I also was under the impression I had only 4 weeks left and they would most likely be here so how many more could I possibly get. WELL I got a lot! A lot more than I was intending to have at 25 years old. Each day I could literally feel when my skin was stretching, it would be itchy and almost a burning/ tingling sensation. Then the next day I would look in the mirror prior to my shower and yep, there was a new one. I know that sounds absurd but its the truth. Each day for the next 6 weeks they got worse. It was bad enough I was stuck in the hospital, week after week passed with no babies coming, everyday more uncomfortable than the day before and now stretch marks another thing to make me self conscious the rest of my life.
So here I am almost 5 weeks postpartum and I'm down 23 pounds which makes me very happy but I still have 10 to go to get back to pre-pregnancy weight and then another 9 after that! My goal is 120, that Is my happy weight. Where I feel my best at. I had gained that 9-10 pounds the months before getting pregnant, I like to think of it now as my body getting ready to house two lives before I even knew it.
I didn't know all of the aftermath of lAbor. I wouldn't wish the pain I went thru on my worst enemy, it was pure torture. The tearing and numbness after, the loss of blood, (I loss more than half my blood) blacking out, the 'baby blues' which are horrible, bleeding for weeks. Nobody warns you about any of that. I will never ever ever have another child. I am certain that God gave me a perfect pregnancy because He knew the torture I would experience in the delivery of Chi and Eli.
Because of my 3rd degree tears I am not capable or allowed to exercise till after my six week checkup and I get the go ahead. Granite it's not like I've had a moment to even if I could or the energy and strength to yet but I'm now looking forward to it, it will help my mood and make me feel better about myself which is a must. I will start with walks around the neighborhood and some yoga DVDs that way I can start to tone. Surprisingly to look at my stomach and see the stretch marks doesn't gross me out like I thought. It's not that bad, I mean yes I have quite a few but they are very faint for the most part. But here's my philosophy on it now, I can deal with them for the fact I gave life to TWO human beings and I am okay with that as long as my tummy is flat or close to it!! And with a little self tanner anything can be camouflaged to a degree.
I've come to terms (most dAys) with knowing my body will never look or be the same as pre pregnancy but I can still have a nice body and feel good about myself but it will just be different now. I intend to still wear a bikini by April, not to mention I'm not trying to impress some young guys or vain guys anymore. I'm now impressing my husband and he still thinks I'm gorgeous I'm sure more now for having his babies than before. Then being healthy for my boys is my priority. Having a child changes you both mentally, emotionally and physically (inside and out). I'm going to find that happy median, where I'm happy with myself and then I can be a better wife and mommy.
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