I love you more than everything

Four years married. Eight years together. Twelve years I've loved you. Yesterday my love and I celebrated our fourth anniversary. Now here's the crazy part it's only the second one we've celebrated. We split up the week before the second one and still was separated for the third one. 13 months apart has strengthened our relationship like I could have never imagined. God is good, He has restored our marriage and I am so blessed. My husband is the best father already, he knows just what to do when the boys need something or I'm freaking out and overwhelmed. He has been very patient with me being so emotional since the babies were born. He's been right there by my side to help or make sure I'm okay. I am so lucky and so in love. Giving birth changes everything it's true, what I thought was love is nothing in comparison to creating life and bringing it into this world. Not only does love change for my babies but towards my husband knowing we are now in this forever for sure. There's no chance of just being annoyed and having a bad day and an easy out. It makes you see all the reasons why marriage is so important and yes it may be work but nothing good comes easy. We now have this bond that the babies have created between us that is unbreakable. So here's till death do us part because I never want to live a day without him by my side.

Fussy and Gassy :(

Nobody could have ever prepared me for a gassy baby, let alone two. Absolutely no sleep, and having to hold your screaming baby who is feeling pain and discomfort and not being able to make it stop. We tried everything google said, went and bought gas drops, bicycled their legs, lightly bounced them on my tipy toes, and burped them till all of us were tired of burping. So the first panicked phone call to the doctors was made and we went in. Doc said it sounded like they weren't tolerating their formula and wrote a prescription for another one! So today we will find that one and start it, then continue to pray for our calm, sweet babies back.

How did you sleep last night?

45 minutes of sleep all night! Fussy babies are very draining especially when there fed, clean diaper and warm. I mean what else is there that could be wrong. Here's how the night went 12:30-3 am Elijah was up, crying. Finally got him fed for the third time in 3 hours and laid him down in just enough time for Malachi to wake up. Fed him put him back down at 4, slept till 4:45 then Elijah woke up fussing again!!!! From 4:45 till 7:30 it was either feeding time or just not able to lay one of them down. It has definitely been a Longggg night !! Goodbye sleep hello exhaustion.

10 days old ALREADY

Wow! My babies are 10 days old already! People don't lie when they say it goes by fast and before you know it their going off to kindergarten. Okay so maybe that's a little bit of a stretch ha. Having two right now at this stage is not as hard as I thought, I've managed to feed them both at the same time, however we will leave the picking up both at the same time to someone else who is a lot less careless. That's not for me. Besides doing laundry and feedings all day it's easy. Life is precious.

Two more lives in this world..

Whirlwind, whirlwind. November 14 at 10:07 Malachi 5 lbs 11 oz entered this big ol' world, followed by Elijah 5 lbs 6oz at 10:23! We will not talk about the delivery because I am traumatized by every aspect of it. Nothing about it was good.

Jump ahead to today, the day after thanksgiving and I could not be happier. My babies are beautiful and more than precious. They have had two doctors appointments, and two outings one unexpected in the week they have been here. It's amazing at how much love and purpose something so small can make you feel. I've never been so protective over anything or anyone in my 25 years of life. I can already tell I am 'that' momma, I don't care about most people's advice, or opinions, these are mine and I know them best. My family is now complete, four well five with Buddy. I couldn't ask for more! God is more than good, He never forsakes, He is always right beside me, guiding me and providing, protecting. He never fails even when I feel lost. This has been a faith testing experience in so many ways, but my faith is growing everyday.

My little angels are so tiny they are to little for newborn clothes and preemie fits there bodies but their legs are too long for them, so they just swim in their sleepers for now. Then we have the issue with diapers and the fact that they pee out of their diapers thru to their clothes and blankets but yet the diaper is dry as can be! It's a magic trick I swear. Lets put this into perspective for you who don't have twins. We went thru one can of formula in two days, 14 sleepers and 8 blankets in two days. I didn't even count the diapers. All I know off the top of my head is we had to open two packs of diapers in the 6 days we have been home. Expensive is what that is. But that's where faith steps in and I trust God to provide.

All in All I am so thankful for my family and friends this thanksgiving, for shelter over my head, for food on my plate, for peace of mind, for my more than wonderful husband, and my little snuggle bugs. God is more than amazing.

See ya soon..

Dr. BB is always the barrier of good news!  (i think that is the right phrasing)  So they gave me the option to be discharged Monday!! I have to admit when they said I could go home I wasn't completely sold on going, even after all the melt downs and loneliness. I really had to weigh out different issues that could arise. They said that now I had reached 36 weeks that they felt safe with allowing me to go, and if I wanted to go back to my original doctor that I could. Our hospital can deliver 36 weeks and up. But I have to say after spending 33 days with the doctors and nurses here I feel safer and calmer with having them deliver. I know in the beginning I wasn't saying that but once they all got on the same page and grew with me I don't feel like just another number, I'm now like family to some of the nurses. I know what to expect and they have all told me what there procedures are. Not to mention they deliver twins every week here, the other hospital to my knowledge has only delivered 4 sets this whole year, then I just heard one little girl didn't make it that they delivered a set just this past month. I know there could have been a million reasons that have nothing to do with the 'hospital' itself but I wont take my chances!

SO..... on the 17th I will be induced if these little ones don't make their appearance on their own! It is nice to spend a few days home making sure I know where everything is before bringing them home. Makes me a little more sane and gives me a little more control. It has been a bit of adjusting still being home, I wasn't this big when I last was home so something as simple as sitting on the couch is not as comfortable or easy as I remembered. Not to mention I thought sleeping in my own bed would be a piece of cake, relaxing cake, but it is so soft compared to the hospital that it puts more strain on my back and belly. Nothing that a million pillows positioned in the right place can't fix though!! Falling asleep and waking up to my man again is the best part, so I am one happy VERY pregnant girl!!!

Malachi and Elijah Momma will be seeing you two soon... each day is one day closer. Oh I failed to mention they are easily 5 1/2 lbs now every movement is so pronounced these days. I never knew I was capable of this, all of it. It is amazing.