It's hard to change tho. It really is. Especially when it's change that no one else understands. No one else should matter except God and your spouse if you've got one (and your momma) but it's easier said than done. Everybody has an opinion on what you should or shouldn't do and say and how you should act. I try not to worry about them but there's always a few who get through and make you second guess everything because of their ideas of what your life should consist of. But really I guess it all comes down to if you have time to worry about what I'm doing your neglecting something in your own life you should be worrying about. Same goes for me, I'm guilty of it to, we all are!
My life has become so routine and redundant the past two years that it seems like my life is just flying by and I'm not really doing anything with it. I know that doesn't really make sense. I know I am raising two little boys to be Godly gentlemen and that is a huge deal, I also know having a successful marriage is a huge deal and keeps us busy. But beyond that as a whole we do the same things almost every day. Weekends come and go with no 'wow' moments that really stand out or memories that will be talked about in years to come. The boys learn their ABC's, 1-5 and their colors. We take naps and watch Chity Chity Bang Bang and wait for daddy to get home. Then fight at bedtime and do it all over again the next day, after day, after day. I'm so thankful for that I truly am but I want to go places and do things with them that makes a difference. I want to play in the rain with them, make lasting memories. I want to jump in mud puddles instead of always yelling at them to walk around them, I want to be more carefree and chill.
I want more fun days for Travis and I. We just went skating last weekend and that was the first time we've had 'fun' together in a very very very long time. It shouldn't be like that. I want more moments when we don't act so old, where we just do things because we just wanted to with no explanation to be given. I want to feel young because I still am (even if he's getting old hahaha).
I guess I'm just realizing how short life really is, we're not promised tomorrow and Jesus can come back any day now. I also don't want to look back and wish I would have done more with my life. I want memories full of family and friends. I don't want to keep making decisions based on what others are going to think, what they might say. The people who know me, know me. The people who just talk or believe what they hear or judge don't know me, those people are the ones who shouldn't matter. I also want to stop finding reason why not to do something. I want a full life. A fun life. An eventful life. It's just little changes really, but even the littlest of ones can be hard to do. So here's to buying that dress because I want to. To skinny dipping in the ocean this year because I just want to. Or dying my hair purple because I want to. To getting my new tattoo because I wanted to. To doing whatever it is (legal of course) because I just want to. Living life without having to explain myself or worrying what others might think or say all the time and talking myself out of things because it's not the norm!!
I know you've seen these already but they really just fit my place in life right now so... 
