Oh love.

I am such a hopeless romantic. I believe in happily ever after. I believe in kissing in the rain. I believe in someone pursuing you. I believe in having your door opened and kisses on the forehead. I believe in candle light and love songs. Movies with Channing Tatum and his pursuit to make the girl know she is the One. I believe in moments you don't want to end, that you replay over and over in your head. I believe in being told often for the rest of your life how someone feels about you. What you mean to them and what you make them feel. I believe in dancing under the stars to no music. I believe in moon lit walks on the beach. I believe in love.

But is that really what love is? I'm not talking about love in a spiritual way, just in the natural. If we didn't see Hollywood's version of love would we still think that was part of the definition of love? If we didn't see the movies would we be more content in what we have and not constantly look for that kiss in the rain moment? Would we not be so disappointed when those things we think are love don't happen. When the butterflies stop would we still stick it out and make it work even though we're made to think if they leave then love has left. What if he doesn't communicate his feelings like you think he should, when he never dances with you or sweeps you off your feet like you thought you needed.

How bout on the flip side of that lets say they do all those things you want or think you need in the beginning. Two years later and you've hit that bitter sweet comfort zone, What happens now? Actually why?!!! Why does it have to stop! Why would someone be one way and then change and forget they ever did those things, I've never understood why it happens. You didn't fall for the person they weren't, you fell for the person they were, So if they stop all those things that you fell for in the beginning then what happens? It makes no sense to me, never has, never will. I know we all change, trust me if anyone gets that, its me. But you don't have to turn into someone completely new and expect the other person to just be okay and go with it. More than likely you wouldn't have fallen for that person if they acted then like they do now. I don't know where I am trying to go with this haha I just felt like bringing it up. Ladies don't act like you don't know what I am talking about.

My conclusion to all of this is, love cannot be defined. It is different for every single person. What works for one, might not work for the next. That whole first paragraph doesn't even happen in my life. I wish it did, if were being honest and he knows that hahahaha trust me ahaha. He loves me regardless and I learned that love isn't all those things, love is what is left after the butterflies are gone. I had to learn that the hard way. When I decided I didn't want to be married anymore it's because none of those things happened in that first paragraph. I thought that all those things were suppose to happen all the time for the rest of my life (And yes with some very very rare lucky people it does). It took 14 months for me to realize that what made me love him were not superficial things, but the little things that I looked over because they never seemed important or substantial. The things that never made my tummy flutter or my heart race.

Things like being a hard working man that doesn't complain about going to work everyday and on time! Taking the trash out (silly! but when you've dated someone who thought it wasn't his job to do so you realize quickly the difference between a man and a boy), being a great father (I never had any doubts), standing up for me, loving Jesus, who has such a gentle laid back approach to life. There are so many things that I overlooked because I just wanted those magical moments all the time. Yes, I'd still like to have them from time to time but if they don't ever happen I know it's not the end. I'm still going to be right here. I also know that anyone can give me those magical moments but not everyone can give me everything else he does. I learned so much during that time and I am so grateful for every second of it.

Now wait a second, I do need to say that all those heart racing moments are still important!! You have to keep things fun and interesting. You should always keep falling for each other, You should want to make your love feel those butterflies and get their heart racing! If you don't someone else will, best believe that!! Nobody wants a stagnant boring relationship. I think that is rude on the other ones end, you should always want to make them feel special and take time to do something for them even if you think its stupid. It takes two to keep it going. If your not making any deposits and only withdrawing then eventually you will be bankrupt!! That applies in every aspect of your life!! Not just a love relationship. Let me stop while I am ahead because that's actually a whole other blog!

Well, thanks to the Ed Sheeran station on Pandora for getting my writing juices flowing! Oh, so I have to point out something that bothers a lot of people I know.... I have trouble staying in whatever 'person' I start writing in. I apologize hahahaha I forget and mix it all up and then get lost. I will be the first to admit I am horrible at grammar. You should know this by now tho :)