Sleep... I forgot what that was

I have this issue where I feel like I need to take in every single moment with the boys. So I don't miss anything that I can control. If I miss something while at work that's a different story. I guess I just never want to say 'I wish I would have paid more Attention or played with them instead of napping or cleaning house or being too tired.' I am so incredibly tired its not even explainable but that's just part of being a twin mommy. I mean their sleep is horrible at night these days and during the day I need to workout while they nap what little they do. Some say well have your husband watch them while you take a nap. That is a joke, I can't sleep if I know they are around, it feels wrong. If I hear them fuss or cry I feel like I have to be the one to get whatever it is taken care of. Not that he couldn't handle it but its just not the way I would or as quickly as I could have done. So there is no time for sleep. 

Although my body I think is starting to show signs of exhaustion. I have no appetite some days and then some days I feel as if I'm starving. My stomach gives me pains and cramps some days, I get headaches, and I try to catch myself and not be mean or moody. I know its not anyone's fault it's just this phase of 'twinhood' as I call it. I've never begged God for something so much before as I do rest. I don't ask for sleep anymore just rest. I know I'm capable of doing this and stronger than I know or else He wouldn't have given me these two bundles of goodness. I just never knew how much one takes sleep for granited till now...