Where you been...

So I have been MIA with these posts lately, for a few different reasons. One, because it seems that you guys are thinking I am being negative and complaining about the stage of life that the boys and I are in. I assure you I would never write something negative to begin with and second never about my children. They are a gift and blessing in my life not a problem. Second, when you decide to write and put yourself out there to be 'judged' and or talked about good or bad it doesn't mean that I am super confident and strong and thick skinned all the time. By sharing my thoughts puts me at a very vulnerable place and that can be hard. Everyone is going to have an opinion and I expect that but sometimes it just gets to be too much. Third, some people like to think that they know me or my life and assume they know what exactly I must be talking about and that I am talking about something when in reality I am talking about something totally different. I dont write about others, I dont write with the intentions of there being something to read 'between the lines'. I am very blunt and straightforward with my writings.

With all that being said :) Hello Yall! How ya been?!

Lets just ramble a bit more about randomness shall we..

So I currently have a headache, not cool. I need to do my self tan tonight so I am nice and glowing on Easter Sunday. You know Easter Sunday is one of the three most attended church services. Mothers day and Christmas are the other two. So with that being said gotta look good with all these people that are going to be coming. New dress, tan, eyelashes, I never did buy new shoes. Hmm maybe I will go look for some tomorrow. I need to buy the boys Easter baskets tomorrow, I gotta do my girlfriends hair tomorrow. It seems like it will be a busy day!

The boys and I went to the beach today for a few hours, I got brave not confident and wore my bathing suit top with shorts. A hand clap for me, thank you ! thank you! hahaha I was extremely self conscious the whole time but I am deteremined to get sun this year and try my best to embrace my post baby body. Lord its the hardest thing ever. I like to think that ALL the people who are staring at us are thinking oh wow, she looks good for pushing them two red headed boys out. I guess its a tiny bit easier to be in a bathing suit with them verses without them at least people can see my excuses running ahead of me. hahaha If I could just get it all tanned it would look so much better! But its not like I can just lay out with the boys, no they want to run litereally run the whole beach and well lets just be honest and blunt all this running is NOT a pretty sight so its tough for me to be in a bathing suit, tan and be mom all at the same time :)

Wedding season has started up again, I start working again next Saturday. I am excited about that, get out the house, the routine, back to interacting with adults. dance party almost every Saturday night whoop whoop. Got a recent Word again that God is going to bless my business so I am anxious to see what that is.

I think I am going to look into taking some psychology classes.. I am assuming that is possible. Ive always wanted to but just never did, so now that Ive really been thinking about it again I am going to really look into it. I want to know why I do the things I do, why I think the way I do, make the decisoins I do, I want to know those kinds of things becasue why would you not want to know yourself? When you find out or realize why you do, think, act the way you do then you can change the things that need to be changed. Until you understnad where its stems from you cant change it. I dont know maybe that doesnt interest you who are reading this but it seriously has always been a huge interest of mine.

Ya know I cant stand when people think they know me. Only a select few people actually know me. The rest are lies, what people think they know, what theyve made up, things they assume. But you know what happens when you assume dont you? My daddy always taught me not to assume anything.

Anyways...

So this third blood moon is happening this weekend... Ive had two dreams in the past three months about Jesus returning. I mean very detailed vivid dreams. Im not scared of the Rapture but I think becasue the human mind cant really grasp all that Heaven is and not wanting to leave my loved ones it makes my tummy get into knots at times. Im pretty certain I am going and my family. I am just a little nervous I guess when I sit and really ponder on it. Side note, I cant imagine having children who arent saved and older. Ya know out of that innocent phase. I would be a complete wreck knowing its so close and they were living in sin and were going to be left behind in this horrible world. I know I dont KNOW that Jesus will be back before the boys get past that phase but with how things are looking its super close so..

Ohh so something most of you dont know.. the world of MOMs (Mothers of Multiples) is the most competitve world ever. Okay, so if you got pregnant with multiples on your own with no medical help your not really allowed to say " I concieved naturally', instead you are expected to say 'I concivied spontaneously'. Because using the word naturally is offensive to the mothers who had help. The other huge issue is whether or not you gave birth vaginally or c-section. Your also expected to not say you gave birth naturally. Okay so heres my outlook on all this NONSENSE! I shouldnt have to tip toe around and not be amazed at how it happened for us. I also don't have time to get all offended by how someone describes their birth story. The fact of life in general is amazing, why does it need to be a competition. Hello, I don't think I am any better than the woman who had help and a c-section, however I shouldn't be made to be quiet or change the words I use because it might hurt someone's feelings. It's still crazy amazing to me that I carried two human beings at one time and that I am stronger than I ever knew was possible and had the choice to push them. I'm thankful. So thankful. Everyday with them shows me something new about myself that I didn't know the day before. I don't know, anyways just wish people would stop letting everything and everyone have that much power over how they feel. 

Well yall I think that's enough for one night, I am tired now.. Too late to do that self tanner now.. Man it's a struggle to be a woman! They do say beauty is pain:)