No Thanksgiving food for these two...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today everybody likes to talk about how thankful they are for everything in life but then you seldom hear anything else until this time next year. That is unfortunate. I however am honestly thankful everyday of my life and tell God thank you daily.

It's crazy to think this time last year I had just given birth to two precious baby boys weighing 5 pounds 6 ounces and 5 pounds 11 ounces! They were one week old and so tiny!! They were healthy and beautiful and I was a mental case who had the dreaded baby blues that had just set in days before. I was a crying mess with a heart pounding so fast at times I thought I was going to die. I was terrified that something horrific was going to happen to everyone close around me and experienced panic and anxiety attacks like I had never known before. I was still so traumatized from the delivery that I thought something was wrong with myself as well and unlike being stuck in the hospital surrounded by doctors 24/7 I was now at home and my mind set was if something's wrong there's no one here to help me. It was the scariest thing I had ever had to deal with. So I can now say I am so very thankful for a sound mind and no fear. For healthy loved ones and perfect baby boys.

They have grown so much that it's hard to even remember them being that tiny. But as you will see in the pictures I post with this they are healthy one year olds! I was excited to feed them some good food today but they have decided they wanted to shake their heads in refusal to everything I offered. So that was a bit of a bummer but they look super cute and have been good,busy, happy babies today and that is enough for me!!! So Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Happy Birthday my babies!

My little bundles of joy are ONE today!

That is exciting and scary all at the same time. This past year has in some ways taken forever and in some ways flown by! I am just amazed at every phase they go through, how at one point they couldn't even roll over and yet now they are trying to run all over the house. How we would have to sit for an hour and try to get them to just take 1 ounce of formula and now they gulp down 7 in minutes. How I didn't think they would ever cut a tooth and now they have 8 and 6. I'm still waiting on them to get some hair and still praying it will be blonde and not red. Ha.

They are the sweetest babies you will ever come across, they rarely cry or are upset. Usually they are all smiles or fake coughs or even some very dramatic grunts, I couldn't have asked for better babies. It is the first thing everyone comments on. I am blessed beyond what I ever thought when it comes to children and being a mother.

Motherhood is a roller coaster if anyone tells you different they are lying. I say it all the time but there are so many things women don't like to admit or talk about after you go through the delivery. Theres ups and downs concerning yourself you go through and physical things that are kept quiet, the emotional times when you cant get it together and you think you may need a psych ward, the highs and lows but it all works itself out. Then before you know it you've gotten it together and cant remember what it was like before children. How boring life must have been. It changes you for the better.

I am thankful we haven't had any serious illness or problems with the boys and that Gods hand is always on them and they are covered by the blood of Jesus and He will keep them. I am thankful that even though I never would have imagined it would cost sooo much to have twins that He always provides even when I am still worrying over not having enough. He is always enough in every situation!

Happy Birthday Malachi & Elijah
Mommy Loves YOU!

WW: Week 1

I made it through week one!! Although its never 'HARD' its just having discipline. Well Monday I weighed in and I hadn't lost an ounce the scale still read 135. As you would know I was well furious because I had done so good and didn't understand why the numbers weren't budging.

BUT...

Then this morning I weighed (because I am one who weighs every morning) and the scale read 133.6!!! So I have lost 1.4 pounds!! Now I don't really know why my scale goes .2 .4 .6 .8 and then to the next pound. I thought there were .16 ounces in a pound so that is a little confusing but whatever it's a lower number than where I started!! I am excited and proud of myself I can and WILL do this, this time!!

House update!

Guess what?! 

     We have officially put in our very first offer on a house. We have been pre-approved for a loan although our max mortgage payment we would want limits us to anything under 120,000. That isn't awful these days thank God but it does put a little bit of a bind on things. The house we have put in a offer for is the first house I have not had to compromise on anything. It has everything on my check list!! Something inside of me knows this is the one. I know I have said that a hundred times but every other one I've said it about I've also compromised on something with them and then obviously something wouldn't work out. 

The only 'work' this house needs to be move in ready is paint on every wall and ceiling and the carpets need replaced. That we can handle, we have enough people who would help us out and get it taken care of. I would want to paint everything anyways so that is perfectly fine with me!! 

I am so excited! Oh and it feels so roomy. It's not one of those house where you have your 8 rooms and that's it, you have little hallways and things in this house. Storage is amazing. Kitchen so open and big! All bedrooms are big with great closets. Bathrooms check! Living room is the only thing that could be a tiny bit bigger but that just means it will be cozy and I love that word. The best two things about this house a formal dining room my number one request and a laundry/mud room no more washer and dryer in a closet thing!!! Agh. !!!! I can't wait to decorate! Oh and it's a corner lot that is huge with no neighbors directly beside of us!!!! 

I'm so thankful for Gods timing. As impatient and worrysum I am it is always perfect!! Thank you Lord you always have what's best for us!! 

Weight Watchers... for real this time! seriously.

I know it may seem at times that I'm this vain freak who says how much she loves her boys but then complains about the body they have left me with... well it is true. But you have to understand where I am coming from I have never been 'small' until the year before babies. I had got down to 120 and that for me was the smallest I have ever been and it was the best I have ever felt. Yes that was also the year we were separated and stress played a part I am sure but I also had all this free time to be active and I had the motivation to start the weight loss with Weight Watchers and it worked. Then I quit and kept losing weight and kept it off for a year till I got preggers. 

NOW.. its almost their first birthday and I still am carrying 5lbs of baby weight plus another 9-10lbs of thyroid mess up weight that got me two months before babies. So that means I have technically only lost 5lbs from giving birth. I was 162 the day I gave birth three days later when I came home I was 140 and now 12 months later I am still 135. I can maintain weight loss It's just getting it off to start with. So today for the 400th time I have decided to start WW again (on my own). My mom is starting again so we decided we still need to do weigh ins to keep each other held accountable, so monday mornings we will weigh in! I have to do this. I can't keep beating myself up and not doing anything about it. 

We have as of today 45 days until we leave for Disney World for Christmas, that broken down is 6 weeks! So if I can do 2lbs a week that will put me at 12lbs down when we leave for vacation which means I will then only have another 3lbs to really be where I want to be just in time for the new year! I can do this! I will do this! I will try to start doing an update every Monday so I can hold myself accountable that way to! Maybe I will even do a post on Instagram and Facebook. So heres to with Gods help and a lot of prayer to get back into my favorite size 2 AE jeans by Christmas!

this needs to be my Before picture! it was taken yesterday!

 

This is what I want to be back down to. Summer '11