Dear God, pick me up again

I am fighting so many emotions being in here. This is the hardest thing to just sit and wait. Each day I feel like i'm one day closer to it being over but then that only last for a few moments. I broke down again yesterday pretty much out of nowhere, I even surprised myself. I was fine then all of a sudden I sat down and just lost it. I had decided I was going home and felt safe enough to do so at this point. Then when I was signing the discharge papers I realized insurance would no longer cover anything if I left so then I was back to having no control over the situation and had to stay. So Dr. P ripped up the paper and I think genuinely felt bad for me,  because he knows its just for the simple fact I am so dilated that I have to be here. And the fact that it will be another 3 weeks before they induce me unless I go on my own.

I don't know if it is just not having control over the situation that is the main problem or if its other things. But I feel so ungrateful, more than I can describe for complaining about being here when like I have said before my babies and I are perfectly healthy. I try to shake it, I thank God over and over for everything but I still feel like I am not being thankful. That is the hard part, feeling selfish, guilty, ungrateful. Especially when that has never been my nature. I have never felt like this.

I try to think okay God, maybe You put me here to meet someone and be a blessing or vice versa. Maybe it's just for my protection, maybe He's keeping me from harm that would potentially be in my way if I weren't here. Maybe He is testing my trust in Him, I always say and wholeheartedly trust in only Him for every aspect of my life, but maybe He's making me live it even more so by being here. In that case I feel like a failure most days. I don't even think that I question His will but I am just always trying to figure it out so I do right. That's where I mess up. I always want to be on the right track and in His will, but sometimes when He is quiet or when I am not quiet it's hard to know if I am doing what He would have me do. I have no desire for my will or anyone else's only His. Most people can say that but not mean it in there hearts. If I never say it at least I honestly know in my heart He is pleased. I love the Lord and depend on Him for every second of my life. I know He holds my world in His hands, so trying to always make sure I please Him is my number one struggle in this life. I just want to know I bring pleasure to Him when He looks on me. So here is to getting back up after failing yesterday and trying to hold out and be kind, happy and thankful for the next however many days He keeps me in here.

I must say though I can not wait to hold my boys, I want to see their little faces so bad. I want to touch their little toes and fingers and kiss their foreheads every second of the day. I just want to see them!! I keep wondering what that initial moment will feel like, when they come out. Will they take my breath away? Will I cry like an emotional basket case? Will I just lay in amazement at the thought I was chosen to birth and raise these two precious babies. Out of everybody in this world He chose me to call them sons, for them to call me Mommy. What will their personalities be like? What traits will they have of mine, of Travis'? Will they look alike? Different? Like me or more like their Daddy? I just wish I could see them right now, hold them for the rest of my life. I will ever seek God to be the mother He would have me be to these babies He has already called out. He has already set them apart. He has already called them prophets to this nation. Before they were even born. In scripture and in real life. Malachi and Elijah Mommy is ready for you. I promise to always do for you and raise you in a Godly home. Pray over and for you every single day. You will grow up to know who created you from before your Mommy and Daddy were ever a couple. Before the sun was ever hung in the sky He knew you.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, I called you as a prophet to the nations" Jeremiah 1:5

Thank you God.

False alarm.....again

Woke up at 5 a.m feeling nauseated no good! Realized laying down was not going to work anymore so I got up and sat in the chair noticed I was super crampy and even my lower back was crampy. Like really bad menstrual cramps, then came the contractions every say 5,8,10 mins. Nothing to consistent but they were definitely uncomfortable and all of it was at the same time so around 6:30 or so every morning one of the doctors come in and check on me, ask the same five questions and my answers are always no. Well this morning I waited for her to come in and I told her how I had been feeling. She got a little excited knowing how miserable I have been and asked if I wanted her to check and see if I had progressed from 6 cm. I said yes of course with hopes of being like 8 haa..... unfortunately she said she felt like I was the same :( BOO I didn't like that response at all. So she said get up and walk maybe do some squats so I did all morning!

My Momma came to spend the day and I made her walk all over this hospital today hoping today was going to be the day. Well I am 100% sure I am having back labor still because it is more intense than when it started this morning, however the actual contracting in my stomach and tightening has been inconsistent but the back labor does come around to the front, pretty much my pelvic area cramps and hurts quite a bit at the same time. I'm so lost when it comes to this whole labor thing and whats real and whats not. It's tough and so different for every single person, ya know. Now just waiting on my love to get here and we will go walking, rocking in the rocking chair and well whatever else we can do to get this show on the road. :)

creepin' round the hospital....

SOOOOOOOOO.... :) I almost got caught just now! Yes I have walking privileges thanks to well we will call him Dr. BB (blonde hair blue eyes lol) BUT I am not allowed or 'suppose' to be walking all the way to the cafeteria or the other cafe they have here. Just in case my water were to break, okay I understand that I guess but I'm already here it's not like I wouldn't be whisked away in a wheelchair by the closest nurse back to L&D. Plus I am far enough along at this point we are safe it were to break. To be honest I was hoping the walking would bring it on!! So I've decided that if I walk outside to the other entrance (which is shorter than walking down the actual halls inside) than 1. I wouldn't run into any of my doctors or nurses and 2. duh it's shorter so I wont be overdoing it as they say. Now that I think about it though the outside route is up about 15 steps and a little bit of an incline which is the most working out I've got in a while. So it probably evens itself out now that I think about it as far as energy used goes.

Anyways so I haven't accidentally ran into anyone until today, I almost got busted. First on the way out with one of my other Dr.'s, then again on the way back in but with Dr.BB. The first one I was able to bypass but then when I walked back in and saw the female doctors and Dr. BB sitting here in the lobby I HAVE to walk through I got a little nervous (it was obvious why I was coming in the door I did). He even looked right at me twice and made eye contact and didn't recognize me at all. THE BELLY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE IT AWAY. I started grinning because I thought for sure he was going to say something seeings how we had just had a conversation on his rounds this morning about him hearing I was doing laps. I guess because my hair is curled and pinned up and makeup is perfected today that I was undetectable. Hmm... that must mean I am for sure a hot mess laying in my bed and they make there rounds. Anyways as dumb as it may be that is now my new form of adventure to keep this place interesting after 21 days hahaaa

Oh and I asked if I could be induced this weekend (because I can literally feel my skin stretch apart and am so uncomfortable at this point) they said no, but that they were talking about me in there meetings this a.m and were all so surprised and amazed I still haven't had these little ones yet. I said ME TOO so lets do something about it!! He said It will happen on its own and once my water breaks then its going to happen fast they think. So we shall see...... until then I'll look for fun in creepin'.

Randomness- updates- thoughts

The weekends go by so fast!! It seems the time my love gets here on Friday nights you blink and it's now Sunday night or Monday morning and off he goes to work again. You might ask what can you possibly do stuck in a tiny little hospital room with someone for 48+ hours... well we play lots of Rummy, lay in my little bed and watch movies that I always fall asleep during, eat, take walks, and eat some more. And I couldn't ask for anyone better to do it with either. He is so good to me and has dealt with my ever changing hormone levels  from being in here just fine. That is why I love him so :):):)

Yesterday I contracted ALL day every 15-20 minutes, with each one I got more excited thinking that meant it was going to actually happen!!! I was finally going to see these precious beings we've created. Well that didn't happen obviously. However it is the start of it they say, downside I could contract like that for days before they pop out. They are still just as healthy as ever weighing an ounce under 5 lbs. So i'm happy that they will be strong and more than likely go home with in 24 hours with me!!! Another update I have officially gained 26 lbs with my pregnancy. I am very proud of myself, my friends who carried one say they gained anywhere from 30-60 with singletons. SO YAY FOR ME!!! Dr wanted me to gain between 25-35 and so I am in that range. That is with no eating restrictions, I never even exercised, God was just showing me favor and I will thank Him everyday. He has been and is SO Good!

They now are so big in my belly (that is not able to stretch any further) that I feel them throwing hands into my pelvic bone and their feet and butts into my rib cage. I feel EVERYTHING now more pronounced than ever before. Yes they are a little calmer seeings how the space is limited but trust me that is probably a good thing for my sake!! With my contractions, or even uterine irritability as they call the little ones my back aches with each one. That is about the only pain that I've had still. They offered me some meds for the big ones I was having yesterday (apparently they were big enough that most people feel quite a bit with those) but I declined it, I don't believe in taking all this medicine. When they get bad and it's like okay! then I will ask for something. I just don't like the thought of all that going to my babies...

Alright well my stomach is growling at me so I gotta go find something for us three to eat....

Day 15.. a GOOD one!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! As of today I have walking privileges, you never know what you take for granted until you are no longer able to do it! Same thing goes on a bigger scale like with God. You don't praise Him for health when you have never been sick or the little things like socks, toothbrush, everything. Never stop praising Him, it's easy to think about those things when you don't have them. Anyways I don't know where all that came from I just wanted to let the world know how the Dr I had today is now my favorite and told me I need to walk 3-4 times a day up and down the halls or outside. So my first trip was to the cafe and outside haa exciting right :) I just got a burst of energy to hold out in here a little longer now. Not to mention in general he was very thorough and didn't make me feel dumb. Lord please let him be the one bringing my little ones into this world!

So here is to my new found freedom ahahaa :) Fresh air and food with flavor!! Have a lovely day world.  

....Ohh! so listen to this real quick, I asked if it was possible to dilate to a 10 and not know it except for when you all of a sudden have to push. Seeings how I'm at 6 with no warning. He said yes! Its not common but its happened and is possible. So honestly there is no way to know at the moment if I am any further than the last time they checked because unless I have more symptoms they will not be checking. As long as Travis has time to get here or is already here that is all I care about. Other than that how great would that be, to not feel any pain the entire time. Not likely I know but it would be amazing.

T is for Tuesday and today's thoughts

So you know how some people once they have kids think they can no longer be stylish or show off what they got? If they had long hair before they end up cutting it all off after, no more heels hello only flats and sometimes even just flip flops, goodbye bronzer just keep some mascara. No more girly, frilly dresses welcome the jeans and over sized tops. Lace has now been extinct now cotton is the only fabric you own.

WELL THAT WILL NOT BE ME!!!!!! EVEN WITH TWO BABIES!!!!

How is that fair to yourself? How is that fair to your spouse? Even your children. Since losing weight last year and getting down to the smallest I've ever been I now know it is possible and wasn't the hardest thing ever. Obviously it takes effort and discipline but if it were easy everyone would be small. I just know for my well being I need and want to get back to that size, which is why I did not throw my clothes away or give them to anyone. Actually what gets me is that I had several people ask for my clothes 'since I was pregnant' I couldn't wear them is what they would say. Ummmm.... yes at the moment I may not be able to wear those size 2 AE boyfriend jeans which were my favorite but hello are you implying I will be fat and not get back into them after I give birth?? I mean really. I found it rude every time someone asked, insulting.

My goal is to have people say what? you gave birth to twins? Your so small. So considering they will be born this month or even the first of November I am honestly all belly. God has been very good to me. I had the worst fear that I would gain like 200 lbs and be a whale. I didn't though, I've gained about 25 and as of the moment the babies are 4 1/2 lbs each plus placenta/fluid/blood/whatever else that has to be about 16 lbs in itself just them. So maybe the other 9-10 lbs went all over but I am very very very okay with that. I do not feel fat at all. I am proud of myself for not eating everything in sight and not using pregnancy as an excuse just to eat and not do anything. Until they put me in here at 31 weeks I was working, still doing everyday things. To be honest since I've been in here I feel as if I have lost maybe 5 lbs, there food isn't very good. Not to mention you do a lot of sleeping when you can't go or do anything.

I just am ready to start up yoga again and take it slow of course but start walking getting back into the mind set. I figure a good bit of this weight will go when they come out, and then I have 6 months to get back into bathing suit shape. I can do this. I want my husband to still look at me and be like wow, your beautiful even more so after this. I can't wait to get my hair colored, I've been doing the ombre thing for the past 5 months so I didn't have to color my roots every 6 weeks. I need some color to this skin of mine. I was good and didn't sit out and put my babies in that heat this summer. So this pastiness needs to go asap. I cant wait to get back into my heels without worrying anymore about toppling over and harming the buns in the oven. Just all of it! I am so excited.

Now I know what your thinking, yea she doesn't know what shes about to get into, there's no time for that when your a mom, only selfish moms have time to take care of themselves. Well good for you but no that is not true. A mother who cares about her family will make time for herself, you have to feel good about yourself in order to be the best you can be. Not to mention when you feel good about yourself others feed off that, so it will only benefit my family for me to take care of myself. So if you want to be a frump and never feel sexy again good for you but my marriage will not go to the wayside just because I had babies nor will my Mommy skills be anything less than great because I took time for me. So here's to ME! I can't wait.

one answer, two answers, no answers the same

Day 12 in this hospital, feels like day 30 at this point. I know they may have one of the top NICU's in the state of North Carolina but that is about where it ends. Don't expect to get straight answers or consistency out of these people. Yes they may be very nice and I appreciate that but just don't ask questions about anything even if it's your own case. No one will have the same answer or reason for you. I think that in itself is more  the problem for me than actually being stuck here. At this point I can answer any question I have or tell you why something is happening just as good as those with schooling. I get this is a 'learning" hospital and everybody is straight out of school or still in school but STILL as a patient I have the right to get straight answers that are TRUE.

I would not recommend anyone to come here if they are ones that need to know what is going on and how things are coming along. I can't and don't want to even imagine what I or my family would be feeling if we were here for actual illness. I don't think the outcome would be very good. Can you imagine a doctor or nurse coming in saying oh this isn't a concern to us, then the next saying yes it is, it's rather a big deal. I mean who does that. These are peoples lives solely in your hands and you can't be on the same page. I would definitely recommend going to a hospital that is not full of residents.

Oh and guess what there is a whole new team of residents coming in next week they just said, so I said great another 35 different opinions, answers, stories. None of which will be the same from the 35 mismatched ones I've dealt with the past 12 days.

.... On a HAPPY note!!!!! My little loves are still healthy and moving around sticking out limbs and probably finding it amusing that they just stabbed mommy in the ribs. haa I still am in no pain, haven't dilated anymore than last time well they haven't checked so  I am assuming I haven't. Contractions started up again a little more frequent yesterday afternoon around 6 but no pain, still random. I really am so thankful and know God's favor is on my life, it has been, but there comes a point where you expect certain things from people who are suppose to KNOW what they are doing and the frustration that comes with them not knowing when your trusting them. Let's just hope these healthy babies come soon so we can all three get out of here asap!!!

here's to meltdown number 1

Wow! I didn't realize how lonely I was in here until my family just came to visit and now has gone back home so they can go to work tomorrow morning. But it's extremely lonely, I'm already crying and they haven't even been gone 10 minutes. As soon as my husband walked out the door tears just started rolling out of nowhere. Maybe it's just my hormones making me emotional, but I just feel so cooped up like a prisoner in here. Especially since I feel fine it's not like I'm sick or need the doctors for anything until I actually go into active labor. I pray and I hope it doesn't sound selfish but I pray these babies come soon. Don't get me wrong I want my little ones to be as healthy as possible but its not anything out of the ordinary for them to come and be just fine right now. It's happening everyday right here up and down the halls from me. On the other hand I feel so so selfish and ungrateful feeling like this when just down the hall there is a girl who has been in here since she was 19 weeks and is now at 25 but still has the rest of her pregnancy to go. Because of a condition where her cervix has a tear or something similar and so they have to  be able to get to her immediately if something goes wrong. I can't even begin to imagine what shes going through and thinking everyday. I've been thanking God everyday all day while in here after hearing of all the stories and seeing stories on the baby channel of babies who are ill or women who have complications and lives are at stake. Here I am 100% healthy and well and so are my babies, both babies not just one, and I'm crying over feeling lonely. In the big scheme of things this lonely feeling will be over in such a short span of time compared to what all of these people around me are facing... I mean I'm still human too but I still feel bad for feeling anything less than 'happy'....

Preterm Labor....say what?

Yesterday made a week I have been in this hospital room! A whole week already! Well not 'already' I mean it has felt like an eternity most days. Looks like these little love bugs of mine tried coming last week at 31 weeks and 5 days....We do nothing normal or average in this family!

Last Wednesday I had what I thought were just Braxton Hicks all day it seemed. My stomach was just tightening up A LOT and really really HARD! The difference was my back was so achy on the right side and my right upper thigh was just as achy. I searched every symptom to preterm labor, labor with twins, everything and I swear I was like oh I have that! Yep that too, oh and then there is the upper thigh ache. Of course me not knowing labor from any other pain I didn't want to call the doctor and be a over dramatic first mom, ya know. So I didn't.... until I had a contraction that included the same pain in my back and lower right pelvic area all tightening at the sametime. That's when I found it necessary to call the doctor. He said to go to the hospital and just get looked at, and let them listen to the babies. So around 4 p.m Momma took me up and they wheeled me to the maternity floor. I have to be honest I felt silly because I didn't want them to think I was just being a baby (no pun intended) I've never been wheeled anywhere, I thought I was capable of walking but they didn't.

Once in my beautiful over sized hospital gown the nurse hooked me up to the heart beat and contraction monitors, then checked my cervix. She said it was still closed and was happy with that. After an hour of monitoring the babies she said I was good to go home and the doctor would be in shortly to release me. Here came this doctor with the longest eyelashes I had ever seen, he said I just wanna check your cervix and you should be on your way. That's when his expression changed from calm to those eyes getting bigger, I had dilated to a 4 in just that hour, with no pain, or contractions that I could feel. By 7:30 I was taken to New Hanover's hospital with IV's in both arms pumping magnesium, penicillin and fluids. Oh and one steroid shot down, the other would come in 24 hours. Those 48 hours from 4 pm on Wednesday till Friday at roughly 6 pm I was laid out from that mag, that is the worst stuff. I had dilated to a 6, had my second shot for the babies lungs and could finally come off all the medicine and IV's attached to me.

Nothing much has changed except for them coming down even further. The doctor was able to feel Malachi's sac when I was last checked which I found so amazing for some reason ha. I am now sitting in my own room writing this, watching Food Network and trying to adjust every time these little boys kick me in the ribs. I am to far dilated to go home so I have to hangout here till they actually come. No more stopping contractions if they start again. However three days ago I had them steady all day but they didn't change my cervix and there still is no pain anywhere. I am looking at this as very thankful, some people are screaming to get to 2 cm. I went to 6 and didn't even know it. The doctors are okay if they end up coming at this point because they got the shots and they do weigh 4 lbs 3 oz each when checked on Monday. If they have to go to the NICU when they arrive (whenever that is) I don't think they will be there long. I know they will be healthy and strong. Most of all I know God's got His hand of protection over them. I just have to get through sitting in this room alone for up to a possible four weeks. That is the challenge and keeping my sanity.

whats really in a name???

I've never really had to think about how important picking a name was until these past few months. You can see I wasn't very good at it when it came to our first son (our dog) he got stuck with Buddy. How original right? At first I thought I had names all picked out. If it was just a boy like we assumed we were good with Harper, reason being it was musically based (Travis is a musician), modern, unisex, so we thought it fit. Once we realized it was twins I automatically hoped for a girl and a boy so then we were set on Sophie and Harper. But finally that day in the dark ultrasound room when we heard the words 'two boys' everything went out the window and we were back at the drawling board!!

Just that quick everything changed all of a sudden it all became such a serious matter. Those names were 'cute' but now they needed to be strong, manly names. Names with meanings much deeper than "music" or just the fact I "liked it". I soon realized God had a greater purpose for these babies and that it is my job to seek Him for everything concerning them. He showed me one night in a dream scripture that I had never read before, it came through a lady in our church that had passed away about 4 months before this happened. She was the definition of a Godly woman, a praying woman. She in my opinion was the closest person to God I knew. I trusted anything she said and knew she heard and spoke to God daily, she had prophesied over a many of people all around the world, saw limbs grow back and miracles happen all the time, big or small. In my dream she started preaching to me out of  Luke 10, she also specifically said Luke 10:11. Because this dream was so real, I ended up reading the scriptures the next morning. The very first verse says this :

 After these things the Lord appointed seventy others also,[a] and sent them two by two before His face into every city and place where He Himself was about to go. 

That alone I took note of, two by two and were having twins. Just the whole chapter let me know these babies have a purpose greater than I know.

..So I decided to start praying and asking God what we were suppose to name them. Over the next few days of reading names and looking up meanings I had decided that I've always liked Malachi but never even knew it was a biblical name, I first heard it on Save The Last Dance (my favorite movie) but every time I had mentioned it to Trav he wasn't 100%. So we kept looking, he had been liking Elijah since we found out we were pregnant but I kept saying no. For the next two weeks I continued to pray about it and then it was like everywhere I looked or everything I heard was either Malachi or Elijah. Whether it was at church or TD Jakes preaching, t.v., so I went and looked up the meanings of both names. Malachi means "God's Messenger" and Elijah "Jehovah is God". Well those meanings fit everything I believe these babies are purposed for.

Then the settling factor was one Thursday morning I woke up turned on the TV and the very first thing I heard was that man from the 700 club say (no joke) "in the book of Malachi it talks about raising Godly children" that was my confirmation, so I grabbed the Bible and turned to Malachi and read it to see exactly who he was and what he did. I was amazed that it does talk about raising Godly children, it talks about divorce which was where we almost ended up but was raised up from, then in the last page he talks about Elijah. That blew my mind, I was sold. I didn't know prior to that he was for telling of the second Elijah who happened to be John the Baptist. It was like duh that's your babies names. How much clearer did He have to be. I also read about Elijah in Kings that morning to find out about him too.

When I told Travis that afternoon there were no questions or confusion about it. We just knew and so now I know without a shadow of doubt that my marriage is of God and that Travis was created for me, and now I also know I didn't just pick names for my children but God gave me there names.

Its amazing when you can say that to someone, or just to know it in your spirit that God has shown you things, talked to you, gave you visions and dreams and you are on the right track. Nothing compares to that. My prayer is that everything in my life I can say I know because He has told me, whether it be a house, car, job, friends, anything and everything. Anything less and your left wondering around this big ol' world aimlessly

8 Months in one post

Lets start with a quick recap of the past ummm 8 months! ha!...

...March 4th this year I started seeing how God was putting my life back together. That night He restored my marriage 100 fold. After a year of separation and divorce pending He put it back together in one night. From that night we have been inseparable!! Just for the simple fact that I want to make it a little more dramatic that was a Sunday night, by Tuesday morning (my first day back to work since our "reuniting") I walk into hearing my Momma telling her client that she felt like she was going to be getting some grandbabies real soon. Now let me mind you, it had only been two days, babies was not even a thought in my head yet. I was still amazed at God's goodness and the fact that miraculously I had this on fire marriage with the only man I've ever loved. Trying to take it in still was my only concern.

...March 13th, one week later at church service that night, I was prophesied over. To be exact He prophesied over my womb that there be no miscarriage, no problems, no defects and that it work the way God intended it to. This man did not know me from Adam, he did not know Travis and I had just gotten back together, nothing. So now not only Momma is talking kids, and my clients, but now God I guess was hinting to me that it was all going to be okay when it happened. Little did I know there was already not one but two babies in there forming!!

...March 19th, exactly two weeks after getting back together I decided to go ahead and pee on the stick, everyone had been talking so much baby stuff, my girl friends were finding out they were pregnant and I figured why not. There it was one bright line and one really really faint second line. Seeings how I've never seen a positive pregnancy test before I didn't know if that meant 100% yes because it was SOOO faint! Now this is the moment where people scream, and cry, and jump up and down, however most people express there joy, me on the other hand I'm a little more of a OMG! on the inside person. Then it hits me later what actually is taking place. I wanted to do something clever to tell Travis but that meant waiting till the next day and trying to hold it in, which was impossible!! So when we were getting in bed I just handed him the test and said here.. his eyes got big and his response "na-uh already" I said well I think that means yes. Then with a big grin he said 'it's a boy'.

(this actually is the 3rd one I took to show my Momma) 

Seeings how I didn't have some creative idea to tell my husband, I decided I would try to do something cute to tell mom. I wanted to include Buddy, our first baby, and let him run through her house with the test and balloons tied to his collar and see just how long it would take her to realize what they said. So I made him a BIG BROTHER t-shirt and attempted to tie the balloons but he jumped out the car and ran in to fast, go figure ha! 

April 24,2012

(yes we were deff cheesin')

....our first ultrasound showed not one but two babies!!! That moment was a pretty amazing one, she had found the first baby and was about to put it up when I asked, "so there's only one in there, were not having two?" before she could get it out she ran the thing over baby B and saw a second sac and heartbeat. Both of our mouths dropped and Travis' reaction again was "na-uh" hahaa gotta love him :) That night it felt like we were just finding out all over again that we were pregnant!!


Fast forward to today October 9, I have had the best pregnancy I could have ever asked for or imagined! I had a week maybe of feeling nasty but no morning sickness, I've had no pain or problems. The babies have been growing right on track if not a tiny bit more. I think as of today I have gained about 27 pounds, which is right where my doctor wants me. I have worked right up until last week which was 31 weeks so I am proud of myself. I feel like I am going to pop, for the most part I am all belly, which I am still amazed at. I thought for sure I would blow up like a whale. But thank the Lord I haven't. I have been very blessed this whole pregnancy, God has shown me favor in it and I am so thankful. Thankful for my health and most importantly their health. So it's still just a waiting game at this point, 32 weeks 3 days and hanging in there...